Truly. Amazing. Piece.
Other Voices: Gay unions pose no threat to traditional marriage
By Benjamin Cuker
August 27 2005
Worried about same-sex marriage causing the end to your traditional union?
My wife and I will soon celebrate 27 years of "traditional marriage" to each other. We have two young adult children. Like all marriages, we faced various challenges, but never once was our union jeopardized by knowing that in our community lived gay couples, who like us were essentially married and raising children.
I say "essentially," since Virginia does not formally recognize the concept of gay marriage. I don't understand those folks trying to save "traditional marriage" by denying same-sex couples the same privileges afforded heterosexual couples.
Honestly, I never even thought about formal gay marriage until the run-up to the 2004 election. As states and some religious denominations began to recognize gay marriage, President George W. Bush called for amending the U.S. Constitution to ban gay marriage by requiring that all unions exist only between one man and one woman. The constitutional amendment has so far gone nowhere, but many states have adopted similar codes via ballot measure or legislative action. All the clamor over the issue did help mobilize the Bush base that returned him to the White House.
So what is marriage anyway? In our nation, marriage exists at three levels. The first, and I contend the most important, is the covenant of love between the two partners. The second is the legal or state-recognized institution. This civil marriage provides protection and rights for the partners and their children. Laws related to civil marriage cover shared property, shared benefits from employers and the government, and what happens if the union fails. The third is marriage in the eyes of the church. Religious sanction of matrimony is up to the religious order. The constitutional principle of the separation between church and state suggests that the government must not meddle in the affairs of any church on this matter, and that religious groups must also not intrude on civil sanctioning of marriage.
Advocates for state-sanctioned, same-sex marriages seem to want the same sorts of legal protection offered to heterosexual married couples, and perhaps the stamp of community approval that comes with a marriage license. This sounds good to me.
My wife and I know same-sex couples in longstanding relationships doing fine jobs of raising children. I see no reason why these couples and their children cannot be afforded the same rights as other married citizens.
Bush and his supporters devoted much energy to trying to pass legislation that curtailed the rights of same-sex couples. Why? I suspect that Bush, Karl Rove and the gang don't really care if Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter can ever officially marry her partner. They saw same-sex marriage as a wedge issue useful to attracting voters turned off by the notion of homosexuality.
All thinking Americans should wake up and reject such hate-based politics.
Half of all marriages in the United States fail. Reasons include young age at the time of nuptials, drug and alcohol abuse, disagreements over money, partners growing apart, infidelity, etc., but I haven't heard of any couple saying they will divorce if gay folks start getting married. Same-sex marriage does not threaten traditional marriage.
A couple of reasons marriages don't fail are genuine love and acceptance. I love and accept my wife for who she is. Wouldn't it be nice if Bush would send a message of love and acceptance of the diverse people who make this nation great, rather than singling out a minority group to hate?
Think of it, an amendment to the Constitution that specified that no one shall be discriminated against for who they choose to marry; and another amendment that made it a crime to use hate and intolerance as a means of gaining political advantage. Let's leave disapproval of mate choice out of the public sector and back where it belongs, with mother-in-laws.
Cuker, who resides in Hampton, is a professor of marine and environmental science at Hampton University.Copyright © 2005, Daily Press
