New Rules

Bill Maher isn't the only one to propose new rules. Columnist Dan Carpenter must've been writing with Bean in mind in this excerpt from his Dec. 11 IndyStar.com oeuvre:

Sens. Evan Bayh and Hillary Clinton, positioning themselves for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination by showing their Republican credentials, have
proposed cracking down on citizens who sell adult video games to minors and who
burn the American flag. Respectively, as opposed to simultaneously.

Lots of families no doubt were pleased with the timing of Bayh's recent announcement, in that news stories about it included examples of the menace he is attacking. A handy shopping list as the holidays approach, for sure. Not to mention another chance for product placement in the watchdog media.

What I could go for, if you want to know the truth, is a mandatory warning label on politicians who promise to protect our values while the big players devalue my paycheck. Grand Theft Auto would cover only one lobby, but it's a start.

While we're at it, maybe we should have an amendment to the Constitution governing desecration of the American flag. Specifically, let's criminalize the act of wrapping oneself in it to hustle cheap votes.

Speaking of the senator from New York, where is she getting this advice to go after conservative voters? Is there a single right winger in America she dares to be alone in a room with? Hill -- over here! Half the population is waiting. And have you noticed the war you won't retreat from now commands minority support?

Oh, well. Any woman president this country elects in the foreseeable future is going to be Margaret Thatcher, so Hillary may as well soften us up.

Speaking of softening folks up, another potential candidate for the White House, Condoleezza Rice, is back from her prisoner treatment clarification tour. One decided advantage she enjoys over her male counterparts is perhaps overlooked by observers -- a hairstyle that can hide the earplugs she might want to wear during inspections of certain European facilities.

Torture generally is prohibited under U.S. policy, President Bush and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld have strongly reasserted. But there are exceptions, as any Bush victory speech or Rumsfeld laugh-along press briefing makes painfully clear.